The First Day

I have had some very difficult days in the past two weeks. At one point I was ready to check myself into the hospital. But I didn't want to miss my son's first day of kindergarten or be away from either kid for very long. So, I suffered, and finally made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She says I'm not crazy! Not yet anyway. But, I'm right on the edge of losing all functionability. Seriously, I keep thinking it can't get worse and then it does. I'm not going out a lot because I never know when an 'episode' will occur. I had three in one day! After just one I'm zapped! Three was nearly unbearable. That same day (after the episodes had come and gone) I found out that a former collegue's precious daughter was in the fight of her life. A fight that was won for heaven. Leightyn went to be with Jesus this past Saturday. Her family needs prayers, she is a very loved little girl that will be missed by everyone who ever set eyes on her. I'm heart broken for them. Our children are the same age, both getting ready for kindergarten. So, today, as I was taking my son to his first day of school, I couldn't help but think about Leightyn. Please pray for them.
Later the same day my dad ended up in the hospital for a possible heart attack. He was so sick no visitors were allowed. My step mother has taken wonderful care of him. He had two stents (sp?) put in because of 90 percent blockage, and the lower right portion of his heart wasn't even beating. So scary! I'm so thankful he is okay.
So, I'm taking it one minute at a time. I've learned that this is not situational, it is chemical. I can be okay when I should be super sad and scared AND super sad and scared when every thing else is hunky dorey!
Today was the first GOOD day I've had! No 'episodes'! My dad is home! My son's first day of kindergarten went super well. AND today is the first day of my newly doubled medication! Also, my husband was home today, which was fantastic. I'm so thankful for a supportive husband. Wonderful friends and family that are hanging in their with me.